10 Common Misconceptions about Stay at Home and Part-Time Working Mothers

To work or not to work? It's the eternal question that tortures every new mother and mother-to-be, and sadly, there is no easy answer. I know mothers who work and miss their children; I know mothers who stay at home and feel that the reality doesn't match the dream. I work part time and , far from feeling that I have the perfect balance; I just feel doubly crap- like I have sacrificed my career but am still very far from being the perfect wife and mother. Everyone has their own point of view, but from where I stand, there are a few misconceptions I encounter time and time again. I'd love to hear from you if you have your own to add!



10 Common Misconceptions about Stay at Home/Part-Time Working Mothers

 

 

·       We spend our days swanning around Harvey Nichols with our husband’s credit cards.

If we’re lucky, we might get the occasional hour swanning around Primark with (our own) credit cards. Then, when we get to the till and are told we’ve spent £80, frantically try to mentally calculate the credit card bill that will be landing on our mats in due course.

 

·       We don’t care about our jobs anymore.

When you have a baby, you change. But you don’t change that much. You don’t stop loving your job or believing in what you do (or did). For example, if you are in a caring profession, like nursing or teaching, you don’t simply stop caring about the people you work with. If you were passionate about your job in the first place, you’ll find that passion is a pretty tenacious thing.

 

 

 

               ·       We never question our decision.

But we do, and that’s the hard bit. When your work availability or level of commitment is limited, you will necessarily miss out on some opportunities, and you have to be okay with that. When it happens, you’ll be just as gutted as the working mums are when they can’t take the day off for their child’s birthday.

 

·       Don’t make friends with us on Facebook as we’ll clog your news feed with endless boring pictures of our kids eating, sleeping and sitting on the potty.

I promise we (try to) only post the good/funny ones. Trust me, if posted every picture I took of my child, I’d break the internet.

 

·       We think we are better mothers than the working mothers.

Of all the untruths, this is the most untrue. My ability to admire a working mother and recognise the sacrifices she makes is not diminished by the hours I spend at home wiping yoghurt off the ceiling. Being at home instead of out earning doesn’t give you a sense of superiority, in fact it does quite the opposite. I can’t speak for others, but despite having side-lined my career, my constant doubt about whether I am a good mother remains indestructible.

 

·       We won’t want to go out for Friday night drinks.

      No, no. We do. Just let me get my coat.

·       Our houses are immaculate.

Sure, if you come round to my house, your eyes will meet a moderately clean and tidy scene. But that’s only because I knew you were coming and I’ve just spent two frantic, sweaty hours hovering up dog hair, scrubbing dried-up spaghetti bolognaise off the kitchen chairs and trying to find somewhere to stash that pile of crap that seems to grow when I’m not looking, all whilst watching the clock and having full-on palpitations.

 

 

 

·       We’re permanently smiling Stepford Wives who always have a delicious hot supper waiting for our husbands as soon as they arrive home.

Bathing the baby with one hand whilst dialling for pizza with another is a more likely scenario.

 

·       We know every episode of Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom off by heart.

Okay, I’ll admit it. That one’s true.

 

Joanna Voss Allsop