To work or not to work? It's the eternal question that tortures every new mother and mother-to-be, and sadly, there is no easy answer. I know mothers who work and miss their children; I know mothers who stay at home and feel that the reality doesn't match the dream. I work part time and , far from feeling that I have the perfect balance; I just feel doubly crap- like I have sacrificed my career but am still very far from being the perfect wife and mother. Everyone has their own point of view, but from where I stand, there are a few misconceptions I encounter time and time again. I'd love to hear from you if you have your own to add!
10 Common Misconceptions about Stay at Home/Part-Time Working Mothers
10 Common Misconceptions about Stay at Home/Part-Time Working Mothers
· We
spend our days swanning around Harvey Nichols with our husband’s credit cards.
If
we’re lucky, we might get the occasional hour swanning around Primark with (our
own) credit cards. Then, when we get to the till and are told we’ve spent £80,
frantically try to mentally calculate the credit card bill that will be landing
on our mats in due course.
· We
don’t care about our jobs anymore.
When
you have a baby, you change. But you don’t change that much. You don’t stop
loving your job or believing in what you do (or did). For example, if you are
in a caring profession, like nursing or teaching, you don’t simply stop caring
about the people you work with. If you were passionate about your job in the
first place, you’ll find that passion is a pretty tenacious thing.
But
we do, and that’s the hard bit. When your work availability or level of
commitment is limited, you will necessarily miss out on some opportunities, and
you have to be okay with that. When it happens, you’ll be just as gutted as the
working mums are when they can’t take the day off for their child’s birthday.
· Don’t
make friends with us on Facebook as we’ll clog your news feed with endless
boring pictures of our kids eating, sleeping and sitting on the potty.
I
promise we (try to) only post the good/funny ones. Trust me, if posted every
picture I took of my child, I’d break the internet.
· We
think we are better mothers than the working mothers.
Of
all the untruths, this is the most untrue. My ability to admire a working
mother and recognise the sacrifices she makes is not diminished by the hours I
spend at home wiping yoghurt off the ceiling. Being at home instead of out
earning doesn’t give you a sense of superiority, in fact it does quite the
opposite. I can’t speak for others, but despite having side-lined my career, my
constant doubt about whether I am a good mother remains indestructible.
· We
won’t want to go out for Friday night drinks.
No,
no. We do. Just let me get my coat.
· Our
houses are immaculate.
Sure,
if you come round to my house, your eyes will meet a moderately clean and tidy
scene. But that’s only because I knew you were coming and I’ve just spent two
frantic, sweaty hours hovering up dog hair, scrubbing dried-up spaghetti
bolognaise off the kitchen chairs and trying to find somewhere to stash that
pile of crap that seems to grow when I’m not looking, all whilst watching the
clock and having full-on palpitations.
· We’re
permanently smiling Stepford Wives who always have a delicious hot supper
waiting for our husbands as soon as they arrive home.
Bathing
the baby with one hand whilst dialling for pizza with another is a more likely
scenario.
· We
know every episode of Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom off by heart.
Okay,
I’ll admit it. That one’s true.
Joanna Voss Allsop
